Confidently Lost

You know when you’re a kid and adults ask you what you want to be when you grow up? We say fire fighter, astronaut, ballerina, teacher. Or, if you’re like me, you say “I don’t want to grow up.” I would ask my mom if I can just be little forever. Why did our life have to be our childhood, then a career and work when we get older?

Growing up I feel like every week I had a different idea of what I wanted to be. Even now, it changes quite often. I have dropped out of college twice (or was it three times?) and moved to three different cities (so far). I still have no idea what my future looks like, and that’s actually okay. Isn’t life more about the meaningful connections we make with others, than the career we have and what part of the world we live in?

I was talking with my friend a few years ago saying how lost I feel. But I didn’t feel bad about it. It was just kind of a fact. I am lost. Although, I feel confident about it. I don’t know what next year will look like for me. I don’t know where I will live or what job I will have. Isn’t that the magic of life? We never know what will happen next year. We think we know and we can try to plan next year, but does it ever happen exactly how you thought it would? Don’t get me wrong, I have many goals and dreams. MAAANNNYYY. Too many? I don’t know, probably! But that’s the fun part of being lost. You get to find!

Life is full of happiness and grief and peace and heartbreak and joy. We don't have to know what we are doing in the future. And trust me when I say this, I don't. If you know what your life looks like in the future I am a tiny bit jealous. But if you don't and you're like me, welcome!

My name is Avery and I am lost. Confidently lost.